April 2010
1 post
Dear adults with terrible grammar/spelling etc.,
I’ve been waiting for you. Trying to pick the exact words and thoughts I would use to point out how much I dislike you. You’ve been coasting through life, thinking it’s okay to write things like “imparticular” (which is actually the two words “in” and “particular”), “grammer” (which you can see correctly above and actually makes me...
March 2010
5 posts
Dear reality shows (and the people who watch them)...
Allow me to apologize for the delay in bringing you this newest letter. Every time I sat down to write it, I had to remove myself before breaking out into an expletive-laden tirade. Having said that…
Alright folks. Let’s just jump right into it. In my previous letter, I briefly explained to you how “reality” television is a virus plaguing America. I ended up going off on a...
Dear reality shows (and the people who watch them)...
Stop. All of you. Producers of the shows and viewers, please stop. This is not quality entertainment. It’s not real by any stretch of the imagination and some of it is even PAINfully scripted. Over my next couple of blogs, we’ll take a look at some of the most popular reality shows out there and how they’re slowly breaking down the fabric of America. Competition shows such as...
Dear parents who take their children to bars,
Very sneaky. You almost slipped right under my nose. You might have even gotten away with it (if it weren’t for you meddling kids…sorry, the Scooby-Doo reference was too juicy to pass up there) scott-free but you made one mistake. You brought the set of “Romper Room” to life at a totally unacceptable place and I caught you!
This is something that has bothered me in the...
Dear parents who put their kids on leashes,
Look at it. LOOK!! LOOK GODDAMMIT!!!
Is this some kind of joke? It has to be, right? I would ask what’s wrong with you, but I already know the answer. YOU are a bad parent, and an all around bad person. YOU, instead of being a good, responsible and attentive parent, have decided to treat your child like something you bought from Petland.
There are times where it is acceptable to see a...
Dear Tiger Woods haters,
With one Eldrick “Tiger” Woods returning to the course, I believe the time has finally come to hold up a mirror to those of you who have condemned this man.
For those of you who don’t really have an interest in golf at all, but have STILL watched and gotten any amount of enjoyment out of it in the last 13-14 years, that’s because of Tiger Woods. I know that because the...
